The concept of leadership is hard-wired in a dog’s mind. In every situation, the dog looks for the leader—and follows. If there is no leader, the dog does its best to lead.
If your dog is aggressive, stronger leadership could help. Perhaps the dog is trying to fill the void left by your lack of leadership.
If your dog is nervous or fearful, stronger leadership could help. The dog knows instinctively that a pack without a strong leader is in danger.
In order for people and dogs to get along in what is essentially the people’s world, the people need to be the leaders so the dogs can be the followers. You need to show your dog what’s right and what’s wrong. The dog doesn’t need to understand all the rules. Heck, the rules keep changing anyway! Your dog just needs to follow you—which he will do if you act like a leader.
How to Lead
Leadership is one of the areas in which you need to understand how a dog thinks.
How to Be: Confident
Show your dog that you are strong and in control.
- Keep your posture straight and tall.
- Project a calm energy and emotional state.
- Be quiet. Yelling, particularly, is counterproductive. Dogs don’t bark instructions at the dogs in their pack!
- Be aloof. Don’t fuss over the dog. Let him sniff you, but don’t overly pay attention to him.
- Follow through. As with children, you have to have the courage of your convictions. If you say left, go left—and make sure the dog goes with you.
Since you are the leader, it’s your job to make sure that both you and your dog stay “under threshold”—that is, that neither of you gets upset during a training session.
What to Do: Guide
In order to guide your dog, you first have to be able to communicate. Think of your dog as someone who speaks a foreign language. How do we communicate with people who don’t speak our language?
- We use a lot of body language.
- We do our best to read their body language.
- We use simple words and gestures (or hand signals)—ones we have already taught or are teaching right now.
Now that you can communicate, what do you say? The most important rule is to teach your dog what you want rather than what you don’t want.
Maintain your leadership status by constantly training your dog. Teach, teach, and keep teaching. Teach anything. Your role in the training session automatically conveys leadership status.
Be sure you stay connected with your pooch. If the dog is over-stimulated and can’t focus on you, take steps to bring him back. Put him on a leash, take him to a quieter place, or, if you’ve got time and space, ignore him for a minute while you pretend to be engaged with some fascinating object.
Troubleshooting
Aggressive or Fearful Dogs
If you and your dog have already formed bad habits, reading this article may not be enough. If your dog is aggressive or fearful and nervous, seek the help of a professional trainer who believes in positive (reward-based) training.
If you can’t afford a professional trainer, turn this article into a training guide—for yourself. Make each item from the above lists into a homework assignment. Put each “assignment” on a blank piece of paper. Set some intermediate goals—start easy, at a kindergarten level, and slowly progress through the grades by getting a little better at each leadership skill. Record your progress, and keep improving.
Strong-willed Dogs
Strong-willed dogs—I call them “natural born leaders”—will not follow a poser. They need a real leader. A dog like this will help you become stronger! Just keep asserting your guidance in a calm, controlled way.
The more I have reflected on the “rules of the jungle,” the more I have appreciated what a natural born leader my dog Sage is. She is stealthy when pursuing food, she’s a doting mentor/teacher, she initiates and ends play with other dogs, she is very athletic yet rarely breaks a sweat, she keeps herself clean, she prefers calmness, she is alert to things outside the norm, and she asserts control in the face of instability. Most of these characteristics could have gotten her into trouble in our people’s world! I shudder to think about how much grief she would have had in a household that didn’t work to understand her. Yet she is very happy now and she certainly gives us a lot of joy.
The Payoff
Leadership doesn’t come naturally to everyone. But if you struggle with “being the boss” or whatever you want to call it, remember: Just train your dog to do something. Anything! The teacher is automatically the leader. The dog is learning to do what you want him to do.
When all human members of your family, including children, are leaders while your dogs are the followers, both humans and dogs will be calmer and happier. Just try. Do what you can today to be the leader your dog craves. If you follow the Dog Momma principles, you will improve!
