How you feel and act when you leave the house and when you come back will affect how your dog behaves. Dogs are highly sensitive to our feelings. So this post is about training yourself to help your dog be comfortable while home alone.
Today’s toy
When you come and go, above all, be calm. That’s the best way to help your dog be calm. You’ve already taken her on a walk before it’s time to leave, right? Now hand her today’s toy, say “I’ll be home soon” (for a short time) or “I’ll be home later” (for a long time), and go.
(Dogs pick up clues from your outfit and actions that tell them whether you’re going to work or to the drugstore. I think it’s just polite to tell them directly.)
When you come home, your best friend will be as happy to see you as you are to see her. But don’t let her jump all over you. If she tries, ignore her. Pretend she’s not there and go about your business.
The harder she tries to get your attention, the less attention you pay. That’s what a dog leader would do. Your dog will understand: You’re the boss, and she needs to wait until you are ready to interact with her.
People talk about how “separation anxiety” makes dogs misbehave when we go to work. Actually, true separation anxiety is rare; if your dog suffers from it, you need professional help (maybe medication, maybe a doggie day care). What looks to you like separation anxiety is more likely a reflection of your own feelings. Or maybe you just haven’t spent enough time and taken small enough steps to help your dog feel comfortable with your absence.
A friend of mine tells me that her dog gets sick every Sunday night. Guess what? So does my friend. But she just gets depressed, while poor Cody actually throws up. C’mon, Mom, help your dog by helping yourself. Take a relaxing bath, watch a funny movie—get a new job if you have to! If you feel OK about going out for your “hunt,” Cody will too.
If you come home to find that your favorite dog has chewed up your favorite shoes, don’t bother punishing her. The dog isn’t likely to understand anything other than that you’re angry.
4 PM sun spot
Quiet lookout
Instead, look again at your approach to the training. You probably expected too much too soon. Take a couple of steps back, to a “grade level” the dog can handle easily. Scale back the separation—less time, less distance, or both—and then work your way up more gradually this time.
Think, too, about where the good real estate is in your house, and make every effort to give your dog access to those areas. For example, our dogs love the sunny spots—the middle of the family room at 2 pm, the top of the stairs at 4 pm—for a nice comfortable nap. So we leave those areas open to them.
Similarly, our dogs—most dogs—enjoy a nice view of the outdoors. It’s even better if the window is open so they can breathe fresh air!
But having to defend the house against the mail carrier, the kid who brings the circulars, and everyone who walks down the sidewalk is an exhausting and stressful job. So we keep the blinds closed to the front part of the house where most of the activity takes place. We have a couple of windows that open onto peaceful vistas. Those we leave uncovered, and even open in nice weather.
